Still Me, Just 60 lbs. Less of Me!

Let’s just get right into it, shall we?

I never struggled with my weight until I was 18 yrs old. And by “never struggled” I mean, I could go into a store, pick out ANYTHING and it would fit great and look great.. I could eat ANYTHING I wanted and not gain a pound!… It makes me sick now that I think about it haha. When I turned 18 it’s like my body finally decided “hey! let’s grow some curves!” I didn’t become overweight, I simply became a woman, which is a beautiful thing! I no longer had the body of a little girl and, although it took awhile for me to get use to it, I grew to love my body with the added weight!

Then I got married just a couple months before my 21st birthday… dum dum dummmmmmm……hehe

In the first couple years of our marriage I managed to pack on an extra 25 lbs. which put me (according to a BMI calculator and healthy weight calculator) right at the tip top of what is considered to be a healthy weight for my height (I’m 5’6″). In about mid January 2009 I decided it was time to lose that extra 25 lbs… it was long overdue!

I was still sitting at 155 lbs on January 28, 2009 when I woke up before the sun, during an ice-storm, and took a pregnancy test.

WE WERE PREGNANT! πŸ™‚

(enter the saying “we plan and God laughs”)

We wanted to get pregnant and to say we were excited is an understatement! We could not have been happier! There’s no way! And I assure you, the last thing on my mind was my weight! In fact, I remember saying, “Well, so much for that diet!” haha.

During my pregnancy I gained 33 lbs. After I delivered our son, via c-section, on October 15, 2009 I weighed 188 lbs.! Which meant I now needed to lose 58 lbs. instead of just that measly 25 that at one time seemed like such a large number (ha!).

So began my roller coaster ride of motivation!

I dropped down to around 176 fairly quickly and easily enough.. I guess some of just the normal after baby weight loss. Then I found that doing household chores while carrying my son in one of those harness things (sorry, not sure what they’re called but it was from Baby’s R Us) helped me drop down to 166 lbs.

Then a switch went off in my head. I can’t think of any other way to describe it. I convinced myself that my body was just completely different since I had a baby and I was always going to be “bigger” from now on. I actually grew to accept my body the way it was and I can honestly say that I was content and at most times even happy with the way I looked. It was a great feeling and no one could take it away from me!

I remained at 166 lbs for about 7 months. Then came summer 2010. All of a sudden I hated the way I looked in my bathing suit. I was disgusted by my rolls and “love handles”. I remember flipping through pictures from the 4th of July trying to find ones of my husband, son and myself. I clicked passed one picture on the computer, paused, and clicked back. It.. was… ME! That overweight girl who looked like a sweaty mess (even though I had been in an air-conditioned house) was me! I just starred.

You hear people say ‘I didn’t even recognize myself’ sometimes but what do you do when you actually DON’T recognize yourself?! I clicked passed a picture of myself not even knowing it was me! I HAD to do something about it. I HAD TO!!!

On July 5, 2010 I made a goal to lose 26 lbs. I counted my calories and cut out all junk food, snacking, eating after dinner and I cut out desserts. That may sound extreme to some of you but I promise, it’s easier than you think to give up eating junk food and dessert.

I read a quote somewhere that went something like this… “Willpower is like a muscle… the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets.” I love that and it is so true! The longer you maintain strong willpower, the easier it gets to use it!

I wanted to lose the weight by the time our family reunion came around at the end of Sept.

I stayed strong for almost 3 months and lost all 26 lbs.! I was down to 140 lbs.!! I was so proud of myself! I got sooo many compliments from family and friends! And more importantly, I FELT better! I felt healthier and I had a lot more energy.. which was good because by then our son was 11 1/2 months old and had been walking “full-time” for over a month!

Here comes a reality check for myself….

I thought I had the whole weight issue under control and I thought my days of struggling with my weight were over…but…

Over the next 15 months I gained 12 lbs. I GAINED 12 LBS.! In 15 months, I gained 12 lbs.! Sorry, I still can’t believe I let myself do that. So disappointing after all my hard work…

It was about mid November 2011 when my weight started bothering me again. I noticed I didn’t have quite as much energy anymore and things that fit me a year prior didn’t fit anymore. I didn’t want to know the truth. I was in denial of any weight gain so I managed to keep myself off the scale for a few weeks and just kept telling myself it was all in my head.

One morning I woke up and had had enough. I felt ‘blah’ and bloated and ugly. So, I stepped on the scale.

On December 7, 2011 I weighed 152 lbs. I wasn’t considered overweight for my height, but definitely on the higher end of a healthy weight range. And my BMI was at the tip top… again!

Then it was like a curtain was pulled back in my head and I could finally see clearly! For over 2 years I had convinced myself that I was never going to weigh what I did when I got married (which was about 130 lbs.). It just wasn’t attainable. I believed that the smallest I would ever be is 140 lbs. Now, PLEASE don’t get me wrong.. that IS NOT a bad or unhealthy weight for a woman who is 5’6″ tall. It’s just simply not, no matter how you look at it. BUT, like I said earlier, I never had a problem with weight. I was always “smaller” and that’s the ‘Christi’ I knew, that’s the ‘Christi’ I remembered and wanted to be again! And since 130 lbs. is also a healthy weight for my height, I decided it was completely attainable!

On December 8, 2011 I started my next weight loss journey. (I also decided I no longer liked the term ‘diet’ lol).

My new goal was to lose 22 lbs., which for those of us keeping track, would have only been 10 lbs. if I hadn’t let myself gain that 12 lbs. back. That was a frustrating thing to realize too. But, I had to get over it and move on. It was what it was. So 22 lbs. was my goal!

I did the same things as before since it worked so well the first time! And now my son was over 2 years old and into EVERYTHING and ALL OVER THE PLACE! haha. So I got more than the recommended ‘at least 30 minutes of exercise a few times a week’. The exercise department is taken care of pretty easily when you’re a mom πŸ™‚ just another of the many perks!

On February 11, 2012 I reached my goal of 130 lbs.! I DID IT!

When you set a goal for yourself and reach it… it’s one of the best feelings in the world! I actually ended up losing another few pounds after that just by sticking with my routine that was now almost a habit. Notice I said ALMOST.

Altogether, since delivering our son in Oct. 2009, I’ve lost 60 lbs.!!!Β  I’ve learned that I will always struggle with maintaining my desired weight because, surprise surprise, I’m not a little girl anymore! I’m a woman and I couldn’t be more proud of that!

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About christigk

If you read my blogs you will probably find out more about me than you ever wanted to know! haha.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized, Weight loss and struggles. Bookmark the permalink.

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